Sometime while dating my husband, we visited his parents for the weekend. They lived at the time in an older home they had refurbished. I really liked the bathroom because it had high ceilings, built-in wall cabinets and intricate tiled floors. His mom is from the South, and decorates with lots of floral motifs. The bathroom at this time had white walls, greenish painted cabinets and a tub decorated with a double shower curtain. It was a montage of pink, red, green and white flowers. Personally, it wasn't my style but to each her own. The shower curtain had a valence as well--so it was essentially a curtain across a shower and tub, and a heavy curtain at that.
We had a pretty full day and plans for the evening. It was my turn to clean up. So I'm in the shower and I realize the water is super soft. I grew up in southeastern Indiana with hard water--soap never lathered. It more or less slid on and water rinsed it off. I'm standing under the water, with child-like amazement that the water is so soft. So soft, in fact, that the blasted bar of soap is slipping all over the place and out of my hands. I go to retrieve the bar of soap; as I stand up, I lose my balance slightly and with such a slippery tub floor (and no mat--bad decision in hindsight) I start to sway. And there, in my in-laws-to-be bathroom, reached the tipping point and fell--backwards--out of the tub.
Loosing my footing and balance (thanks due to zero friction) I fall backwards over the tub. In a blaze of fury and desperate last-minute hope, I reach for the shower curtain and pull the entire ensemble down around me. I landed on the cold tile floor, swaddled in the hideous floral curtain. Thank the Lord I missed the sink with my head, but only narrowly. My horror would have been ten times worse had I hit my head, passed out and been at the mercy of the local fire department finding me unconscious on the floor--wet and naked. What a story they would have had!! I'm sure had I been observed, it would have been like watching a train wreck. It happened so quickly; one minute I'm deep in thought of the water's softness, the next minute I am on the floor, naked as the day I was born, on my back, half covered in slippy soap and tangled in the floral shower curtain from hell.
I had never felt so ambushed, so silly, so embarrassed and so child-like in my life. It was completely out of my control. I come to my senses after the crashing of both me and the shower curtain ensemble and the water is still running. Within five seconds I hear my husband's mom at the door, "Honey, are you all right?" Then five seconds later, hysterical laughter is heard as I tell her, still lying on the floor and through the door what happened. She laughs to this day about that incident. My husband-to-be was more sensitive and truly concerned, but had a rueful smile about his mouth the whole time. I refused to let anyone in to assist me. I even left the water running, put back the shower curtain and finished my shower...pride and bum slightly wounded.
Imagine falling out of this tub with this shower curtain raining down upon you...except this has doors and a green curtain, but use your imagination...:)
No comments:
Post a Comment